This week, when the fog just hit me out of nowhere...........
Three days ago, I was driving to an appointment, singing along in my car (as usual). To get to my work-space on this day, I have to drive up into the hills. I love this part of the journey, it’s as if time sort of stands still for a while and the world stops, whilst all around me turns green and fresh and lush. My body relaxes here; I feel a sense of ease and contentment.
Suddenly, without any warning whatsoever, everything turned grey and misty, within a split second. Dense, heavy fog descended everywhere, so much so that the landscape that I usually love completely disappeared and I could barely even see the car that I knew (from just a moment ago) was in front of me.
My singing ended abruptly and I found myself completely disorientated, wondering what on earth I was going to do. Here I was, on a 60mph road, still with a fair journey to make, now not being able to see anything at all. Questions raced through my head: Stop the car? Carry on? What’s the right thing to do here? Why don’t I recall the stuff from my driving theory test all those years ago? What’s going to happen to me? Am I going to make it out of this alive? Feelings and emotions stirred right in the centre of my body (typically my stomach; it’s often the stomach, for me): A sick, lurching feeling, like a bowling ball dropping right down to the pit of it.
I didn’t make a cognitive ‘decision’ at this point. My intuitive knowing (that is often difficult to describe using vocabulary) led me and I slowed right down, trawling along, with my fog lights on, eyes open, body alert and aware, moving forward, little by little. Thankfully, after approximately 4 -5 minutes (which felt like a life-time), I noticed a gap in the swirling grey that housed a slither of sunlight. Slowly, slowly, the fog began to lift and I emerged, stopped, breathed, checked in with myself and was able to take this picture, shown here as the image for this blog. The fog had gone, the clear skies were back.
Naturally for me, I reflected on this incident that day and the days thereafter. I remembered times in my life when the metaphorical fog had just hit me, as if from nowhere, when situations had occurred, circumstances had presented themselves and challenges had ensued. How suddenly that fog can hit, I thought, how instantly things can change. How much force this fog can yield and how powerless we can feel within its clutches. Life, I pondered, it has an interesting way of surprising us, it can knock the wind out of our sails in one short burst.
I smiled (I’m smiling now, as I’m writing this). We are living, breathing, feeling, emotional, intelligent beings, who have absolutely zero control over the situations that we find ourselves in, nor the flashes of ‘stuff’ that appear in our paths along this road we call ‘life’. Our reactions and responses to the above? Well, that’s a different thing all together, isn’t it? Knowing that we cannot control anything, alongside deep- rooted trust in and of ourselves and our abilities to navigate these winding paths is the epitome of awareness and empowerment. It’s peaceful here, amongst the chaos.
And the clear skies? Well, they always appear again. Maybe not instantly, but they’re always there………….waiting in the back ground.