As I wind down to close of practice for the festive season, I am reminded of the time of year and ‘tis the season.’
The starkness of winter always feels so apparent to me. It starts with a sense of sorrow when I see the geese departing to warmer climates. Winter creeps in and suddenly feels all encompassing. The snaps of cold air, visible breath as I shut the door on evening therapy sessions. Daylight disappearing long before I feel ready for it to be dark. Less people on the streets at night (and my walks during the day). It’s too cold for them, too bleak, too desolate.
To the natural world, winter ‘tis the season’ to be hunkering down; the hibernating animals closing their eyes to sleep it all away. They know how this time of year can be. Leaves long gone, colourful flowers a distant memory, once flowing waters turning to ice. A contemplative stillness. The vastness of barren land evoking a beautiful kind of sadness.
And then there are us humans. Enter, the contrast of warm, golden hues of twinkly Christmas lights. Parties, music, food, celebrations and gifts in abundance. A joyful, happy, love filled time. And the families. Oh, the families! Image after image of perfect families huddled around perfect tables, in perfect houses, in perfect neighbourhoods, in perfect lives.
Lives that everyone wishes they had.
Lives that are what we’re all ‘supposed to’ have at this time of year, right?
‘Tis the season’ after all.
Apart from when it’s not. And often, it’s really not.
Whilst Christmas and New Year can be joyous, tis also the season of silent despair, of raw comparison (the kind that eats you up inside, making you want to crawl out of your own skin). It can be desperate and sad, terrifying and confronting, miserable and isolating. It can be all of these things and more.
If your holiday season isn’t what culture suggests it should be, please know that you are not alone. Please know that this time of year isn’t perfect for the majority of people. Please know that it is okay to just want to get through the day(s), hoping to emerge as relatively unscathed as possible. Please know that hundreds, thousands, of others will be living similar experiences (even if social media pages don’t show this).
Perhaps most importantly, please know that you matter enough to care for yourself in the best ways that you can, during this time.
You don’t have to be merry and bright. It’s okay if you’re not. Just like the natural world, you don’t have to bloom all year round.
You’ll bloom again sometime.
You will.
J X
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