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  • julienaylorcounsel

Sometimes, things are just hard. . . . . . . . .

In life, sometimes, things can be really, reeeaaalllyyy hard.  They just can.  Things like (but not limited to): 

·       Times

·       Situations

·       People

·       Places

·       Dates

·       Emotions

·       Hearts

·       Minds

·       Bodies


Sometimes, the hard things feel as though they are entering all at once; raining down on us.  Other times, they appear sporadically and then move on, as quickly as they arrived.  There might be a steady stream of them, ebbing and flowing in and out of our lives. We might feel them in the background – a consistent low hum.


It seems, in some cultures (families of origin and beyond), that an ideology of ‘always being positive’ exists.  That we should all be living in a constant state of bliss, happiness, joy (insert whatever terminology feels appropriate).  Anything outside of this cultural norm (and expectation) is just not okay.


As a result, we can feel a strong pull to alter what actually is.  We want to do anything we can to change the reality that is occurring in the moment.  We grapple, hustle, cling on, throw away, avoid, deny, distort……….. anything to escape the feeling of something being really hard. 


Have you ever been told that things being hard sometimes is a natural part of being human?


Lots of us haven’t.  Lots of us were never taught that we were allowed to feel like things are hard.  That we could sit in those hard places, navigate them, feel it in our bodies, express it, nurture it, lean in, get curious.  As a result, we don’t know what to do there – how could we, when we have never been shown?  On top of the already hard thing, then comes shame, blame, guilt, criticism (amongst others).  We’re freaking out here:  ‘I should be able to ‘sort’ this’, ‘I shouldn’t be feeling like this’. ‘there’s something wrong with me.’


Newsflash, my friends………. The reality is, sometimes, life can just be really hard.  It’s called being a human.  Sometimes, we’re lost, crumbling, down, anxious, complicated, confused (and all kinds of other things).  None of these things are ‘wrong’.  None of them mean that you are ‘broken’.  ALL of them mean that you are a gloriously complex person attempting to navigate your way through this thing called life.


And, hey, maybe if you learned how to sit with yourself at these times, knowing that such periods are really pretty ‘normal’ states of being, things might feel a little different for you.


Maybe, there might be a treasure trove of jewels down there, in those hard things.







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