I'm scared. . . . . . . . . .

This afternoon, I played on the park with a friend’s daughter.  Excitedly bouncing between apparatus, eager to demonstrate all the ways she could move her five-year-old body, I smiled as I observed.  Her energy felt invigorating.  So much so, that I decided to have a go myself.

Gingerly moving up the netting, I arrived at the top of the climbing frame, to the (very wobbly looking) ropes that I should have stepped on to arrive at the other side.  Glancing down, I was suddenly very aware of the height of the frame.  I felt a pang of fear deep in the pit of my stomach that shot upwards, filling my limbs with its grip.  My fingertips felt buzzy.  My body felt buzzy.

“I can’t do it”, I said to the child.  “I’m scared.”  With the ease and nonchalance of a small child, her response stopped me in my tracks.  “I know.  So am I.  I just practice trying every day.”

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh…………………

She was scared too!  Watching her flying through each obstacle with (what appeared to be) relative ease, gave the impression of fierce confidence and ability.  Without our conversation, I would never have known we shared similar fears.

She practiced every day.  Every day.  Even when it felt tough.  Even when she was scared.  Even when there were other people around who might laugh at her, who might be further along than she was.  She still showed up for herself.

What I learned that day…………….

Naming something in the moment can open us to endless possibilities, shared experiencing and comfort. 

You’re often not in this alone.  You aren’t the only one.

Appearances on the outside, don’t always reflect the inside.

You can practice being with fear.

Achievement doesn’t mean the feelings aren’t there anymore.  They’re still present, you’re just more able to handle them.

I know this is a five-year-old on a climbing frame, but aren’t we all inner five-year-olds on life’s climbing frames?  I feel like we are.  I kind of like that we are.

Let the little ones teach us, folks.  They have lessons to offer and wisdom to impart that’s more profound that many of the zen teachers, psychologists, scholars and theorists I enjoy reading.

Go easy on your ‘scared’.  You can offer yourself that.

 J X